Food and thought (a little background)

I grew up a picky, uninterested eater, and never cared to spend more than 5 minutes preparing a meal. I think at one point I even called pouring out a bowl of cereal and adding milk “cooking”. I became vegetarian (with a mostly vegan diet) when I was 18, a decision largely spurred by sudden lack of my parents’ refrigerator. I knew how chop veggies, make sandwiches, cook some pasta if I felt fancy, but that was about it. With that attitude towards food preparation in place, the addition of a seriously vegetarian boyfriend and domestic partner sealed my dietary fate and I shied away from culinary exploration for a long time. My interest in food didn’t really begin until a few years later when I realized I was unhappy, always in pain for seemingly inexplicable reasons, and was generally very unhealthy. None of this was exclusively due being vegetarian or vegan, but to my lack of critical thought regarding the food going in to my body and my complete ignorance of how it was making me feel.

I never lived on vegan junk food – one can only eat so many Quorn “chicken” nuggets anyway – and I always kept rice and beans and dark leafy vegetables as staples. I became excited to learn about seemingly wonder-foods that were new to me like seitan, quinoa, and kale. But every day would end with me feeling groggy and in great pain from headaches, bloating, cramps, heartburn or all of the above. At one point I was taking a prescription heartburn medicine in conjunction with the strongest over the counter drugs every day and still found no relief. There were many nights when the pain in my stomach and chest was severe enough that I had to sleep sitting up so that my heartburn would be somewhat tolerable. These symptoms became so bad that my left arm would go numb and I would be convinced that I was having a heart attack, ulcers, or a myriad of much worse things. I began to get extreme mood swings and panic attacks on top of all of this, none of which was helped by having a naturally wired and anxious temperament anyway.

It was my panic attacks more than anything else that inspired me to wake up and try to figure out just what was bringing all of this on and what I, independently, could do about it. Like so many people I first consulted online medical sites, which of course convinced me that I was about to die from at least six fatal and extremely rare conditions. Thank goodness I continued searching, and came across a wealth of knowledge in personal blogs and public forums where I found stories from innumerable people who had apparently been through exactly the same things I was feeling. I was also blessed to find a great doctor who was very thorough and careful to make sure that I had no severe conditions. He told me that I my throat lining was scratched – partially eroded actually - from the acid reflux. He also found that I have a mild case of MVP, Mitral Valve Prolapse, a type of heart murmur that is linked to anxiety, exceptionally high production of adrenaline and chronic low blood pressure, and, of course, digestive problems (it’s actually fairly common, found in about 10% of all women and 5% of men – google it!). He suggested that I try an allergy elimination diet; six weeks of very careful eating, watching, and waiting. I’m human, I didn’t do it perfectly, but I did follow the most major points, and for the first time really paid attention what I ate. Most importantly, the weight of all of these experiences happening at once taught me to take a step back, breathe, and learn how to read my body.

As I learned about specific enzyme and vitamin deficiencies that are linked to the physical and emotional problems I was experiencing I began increasing those into my diet. I began to watch my cravings and tried to link them to whatever it was about that specific food that my body was calling for at the time. I give my unconscious brain and the body’s memory a whole lot of credit, and I definitely trust it to know what I may need before being able to translate it to tangible thought. Instinct does precede language after all, and I wonder if such umbrella terms as the “unconscious” simply point to our body’s chemistry…

Stress management and general brain fuzziness sure seem to be related to B vitamin and protein deficiency, something I’m sure I wasn’t giving my body getting enough of. I get major cravings for magnesium and iron heavy foods too. These are small examples, but being able to do something as simple as eating what my body should be eating has made a world of difference.